My Everything

Although that story is recent to my blog, it was sent out over Facebook April 9th. Recently there have been some changes. My friend’s dad is not doing well. Although we were sure of physical healing it appears now that in a few days he will experience the ultimate healing as he will be free from his physical body and will be able to worship our heavenly father without restraint. Wow that is something God is teaching me. I think I know what is best, but his plan is so much bigger and better than I could ever have imagined.
Jeremiah 17. Cursed is the main who puts his faith in men. Blessed is the man who puts his faith in God. The heart is deceitful. Oh God heal my heart. Help me put my faith in You and that one day You will provide all that I need. Matthew 6. Psalm 27: 13-14. Make my heart and willing to accept your will for my life. You give and you take away, boys. You give and you take away, my youth. You give and you take away, friends. You give and take away, health. You give and you take away, everything I once held dear so that I count it all as lost. God lead me to the cross because you are not like the grass who withers and fades but your love last forever. Isaiah 40.
Then I turned the page in my Journal and I read something I wrote earlier but apparently skipped a page so I found today. “So today Im in a funk, too much on my mind. God help me focus on you and only you. Take away the distractions and show me your truth. Matthew 1:18-25; 6:5-18,25-34; 7:7-8; 8:23-27; 9:9,16-17; 21:21-22.” Ha. Thanks God for that reminder. Please do take away so that I don’t have any distractions and that you are what I hold dear. Forgetting the former things, not dwelling on the past because you are doing a new thing! Praise be to the Lord, the author and finisher of our faith. What do I put before God? God show me what you have given me that I hold on to too tightly and TAKE IT AWAY! God help me make you my everything.

Faith

K so I have a crazy story. God is so much better than I could have even imagined! The other night I was supposed to be studying for a test. I got on facebook and began to talk to a friend of mine who recently became a Christian. She was telling me about all God was doing in her life and so I shared it with my friend X. X’s dad had cancer, the kimo cured it, then it came back and now the doctors say there is nothing they can do. She says it’s cool because she is able to see who in her family is trusting in God through this, her little brother even asked her if she believed in healing. HA. This is where it gets good.
X has the words live, faith, and hope on her wall. She said she woke up in the middle of the night the other day and all she could see was God telling her to have FAITH and HOPE her dad will LIVE. If only the story stopped there. I asked her if she believed, she said sometimes yes but not really because it’s not logical. I told her I’m the same way. We talked about the man who asked Jesus “if you can heal my son” and Jesus says “if I can, everything is possible for him who believes.” Just like the boy’s father, X and I begged God to help us overcome our unbelief. He is the God of the universe, if he wanted to move the tree in front of Panera he could, if he wanted to heal X’s dad he could. We decided to head to the beach. While we were there X told me, the day she found out her dad was sick again she sat in her car and held her bible to her face as tears streamed down her face. “Why did I have my bible? Oh that’s right I was going to go to revival.” I began to laugh. God is so good. While she was sitting in the car hearing the worst news of her life, 400 Christians were asking God to move at revival. 1 in particular called me during it leaving the song “Let God Arise” on my voicemail. The night before, I had told this girl that I would be fasting and praying for her friend’s mom who had cancer because “I am ready to see God heal, I am ready to see God save, I am ready to see God move like we have never seen him before.”
We began to get chilly so we headed to the car, a minute down the road rain began to fall, then it stopped. We thanked God for letting us get to the car, and then asked if he was going to let it rain if he could at least wash all the pollen off. As we laughed and just enjoyed how good God was the rain began to fall and I turned up the radio… “and the cancers gone,” were the words that came through the speakers. NO LIE. She looked at me and goes “what is happening!” for some people it would stop there. Not for me and X. We came home and went to bed. The next morning I woke up and went to my 8 o clock. I walked by the first car and all of sudden realized “no pollen.” For some that would seem stupid, but it no longer mattered how, but instead it was all about the timing. God was so good! When I got back from class I ran into X again.
For the past few months she’s been seeing 9:11 everywhere, whether it was the time, how many coins in a jar, or a scoreboard. When I saw her she asked me to guess when she woke up “9:11” we laughed and I walked into my room. On my desk sat my bible so I picked it up asking God if it was really that simple. I checked Matthew, nothing important. I checked Mark, nothing. I checked Luke 9:11 “but the crowds learned about it and followed him. He welcomed them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and HEALED THOSE WHO NEEDED HEALING!”

Fact or Fiction

We are all constantly bombarded with advertisements. Some use bright colors, some use pretty people, and some use both. This Revlon advertisement does just that. Jessica Alba is perfect, and women everywhere want to be her, making her the perfect candidate to sell their product. She has definitely made a name for herself as she has been in multiple movies and shows. Besides, she is gorgeous with her dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, clear tan skin, perfect teeth, and luscious lips. Wait, that’s what they’re selling! Lipstick. The ad itself was set up brilliantly. Using a dark, dramatic background, allowed Jessica to stand out which is exactly what Revlon wants to get women to think this product will do for them. Then they use a dark red lipstick which makes her lips pop even more, drawing attention to their product. Honestly, looking at this ad makes me want to buy lipstick. If only I looked this stunning with it on. Oh, the wonders of advertisement. Now no one would consider this lying would they? They used a real person, a real product, and real facts. Or did they? It comes down to presentation. Yes, Jessica is a real person, but the girl in the ad is all done up. Very few of us have a personal make-up artist with us every day. The product is lipstick yes, but is it always that shiny, and will it look that good on you? That picture took less than a second to take with the perfect lighting and precise flashes. Now to the facts. Does lipstick really have the “feather-light feel you’ve been dreaming of” with “elasticolor technology that hugs lips with a burst of weightless color?” I guess the only way to find out is to try it, and then you’ve already bought their product. So, do you look as good as Jessica when you wear it? Honestly, probably not, but we don’t live in a world of reality. We live in a world of fiction that will allow us to think yes we do and hence we will continue to buy their product. The producer has won and the consumer looses once again, but then again it’s what we want isn’t it?

Wonder

Some people think that the more we know, the more we discover, the more the mystery in life begins to fade. I disagree, instead I think it inspires wonder and even more imagination. This is what happened with the discovery of the human genome. It was a huge landmark in discovering how things work in the human body, but it also brought a new appreciation for the complexity, with this appreciation and complexity came new and more complex questions. Questions that spark more wonder and more mystery in how things work. We have in no way answered all the questions or are we even close, and as we continue to learn and discover I only hope we realize the mystery and wonder of this incredible universe God gave us. He is the ultimate mystery, so great that our minds will never fully comprehend. We will constantly search but never fully know how great he is, why he does things, or how he works, but we strive to learn. That is what keeps us going, that is what we long for, the knowledge of who God is and how he works in us.

Ezekiel 15:11
"Who among the gods is like you, O LORD ?
Who is like you—
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory,
working wonders?"

God thank you for being so much greater than we could ever imagine. That is what makes the journey so marvelous is how incredible you are. The more we learn the more we are just amazed at your goodness and grace. Thank you for this incredible ride. I cannot wait to learn more, and continue to be amazed.

Amazing Grace -- Chris Tomlin

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine, will be forever mine
You are forever mine

Freedom in Christ

So today I woke up, still in a funk. I didn’t understand. I have so much stuff to do and no time to do it. 19 hours and finals are going to be the death of me. Finally I decided to put on my Ipod and God spoke to me through my friends CD. “I feel an inch away from death, but no one ever knows, because I don’t let it show, all my strength is gone, all my hope is gone, all hope but one. In my weakness it is far more clear to me, in my failure its far more clear to me, in my selfishness its far more clear to me, when I can’t stand myself it’s far more clear to me, just who you are and what you did for me.” WOW. So true. I just need to live this life God has given me and glorify him in everything I do. That is all I can do, so I will let go and give up this burden that is holding me back from living life and trust God to get all this done. “I can’t wait until you walk me through those gates Halleluiah, I can’t wait until you walk me through those gates halleluiah, I can’t wait until you walk me through those gates halleluiah” So I am choosing to give it up and cast my burdens upon my God who cares for me.

Jess Ray and the Rag tag Army

Haha and the Ipod continues to play. Another of Jess’s songs: beep, beep, beep another day, wake up and try again, went to bed defeated woke up bruised and beaten, no new thing for me, im comfortable in my losing streak, I’m sure I’ll get it right this time with one more try, so here’s to my trying, goodbye, so hears to my trying, goodbye. Ding ding ding another fight, more than sure i’ll win tonight, my skin is tougher this time, as long as I can focus my mind, push a little bit harder stretch just a little bit higher, should get it this time one more fight, but I’m losing my mind, wasting my time, so here’s to my fightin, goodbye, so here’s to my, so hears to my, so here’s to my trying, GOOD BYE. So here’s to my fighting GOODBYE…cause there’s no reason to try for something that’s already done and there’s no reason to fight for something that’s already won.

Praise the Lord. My battle has been fought, my battle has been won, and now it I will praise God without hindrance, trusting that He will allow me the time to accomplish all that I have to get done.

Worries

Today was weird. Honestly not sure what I did. I felt so unproductive. I woke up wrote a couple of blogs, then went to my class, ate lunch, went to more class, then the gym and then apartment hunting. That was stressful. My dad lost his job back in December, so I need somewhere cheap. My roommate Sam and I went to this one place: OUT OF OUR PRICE RANGE! As I was getting discouraged, I called my friend and asked her about her place. She basically told me that although it was in my price range, I should not live there because of the roaches and how horrible the owner was with fixing maintenance problems. Great. So I can't afford somewhere nice, and the place I can afford has roaches and maintenance problems. With discouragement welling up within me, Sam and I decided we needed dinner. Over dinner I was honest with her about how money was tight, she said she understood and that we would keep looking. We stopped by Brookstone Village. It was in our price range and still nice, so even if we don’t end up at Brookstone, we had a good heart to heart conversation where we could both be honest with each other and compromise, realizing that there are still more options to look into. God has a plan for me and Sam next fall. We just have to trust him.

Matthew 6:25-34

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?...31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

God I have so much to do. Please help me to not stress, but rather focus and get it done, not worrying about housing or everything else that is on my plate. Help me to give it all to you, and as you get it all done according to your plan help me give you the glory.

Interpretation

In December my dad lost his job. Now his life consists of interview after interview, application after application, and constant searching. This weekend when I went home I asked him about photography. My dad and I love photography, and the two of us have taken pictures for longer than I can remember. I decided since neither one of us really knew that much about how to get recognized or noticed we should try it all. This weekend I started a flickr account. Photography has always been a hobby of mine and something I really enjoy. I love working with the framing, the lighting, and the subject, adjusting them to my liking in order to tell the story I want to tell. I love it. As an artist, I frame it the way I want in order to tell my story. However, that story will be different for everyone else who looks at my work of art. That is the beauty of art: interpretation. My photo will speak to me one way and maybe to you another leaving the true meaning of the artwork up to the eye of the beholder. Well if beauty is in the eye of the beholder how am I suppose to take pretty pictures of pretty things that other people will like? I’m not. I have no idea what you like. I just have to take pictures that say what I want them to say, and then let people interpret how they may. So that is what I’ve done, let me know what you think!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/48973467@N06/

The Environmental Issue from Hell

Is global warming a moral dilemma? Is it the public policy problem from hell? McKibben is wise to use phrases like these. By discussing hell and morals, your mind is already equating it with two heavily debated issues and beginning to question their existence and how we should deal with them. As for existence he chooses to discuss how global warming “will creep up on us.” He goes on to discuss the slight changes that are taking place and how we “live lives so divorced from the natural world that we hardly notice these changes.” He’s right. Not only in choosing the word divorce which everyone has heard and in some way or another experienced, but also elaborating and explaining about parking garages and air conditioning. Then he goes on to discuss how to deal with global warming since it is indeed creeping up on us, and that he says is the moral question: do “we owe any debt to the future.” By wording it this way, McKibben asks if we owe them anything. No, we don’t just like we weren’t owed anything, however, he then goes on to discuss how “we would loathe the generation that” did not react. Loathe is such a strong word, but I think it gets his point across. People, Americans especially, are so quick to judge however they only look through their own perspective lenses. McKibben is asking for us to take a step back and look from someone else’s point of view which as an author is a brilliant idea. He is asking them to be open minded and look through someone else’s eyes with the hope that it will be his.

A Reason for Rejoicing!

I have chosen to write my paper on the death penalty in response to "The Death Penalty Is A Step Back." Have you ever experienced grace you did not deserve? We have all at somepoint said something to a friend, lied to someone, stolen something, or cut someone off in traffic. How did that person respond? Did you even notice? Sometimes we take their grace for granted, but when a person has truly experienced forgiveness and they realize that someone has extended grace to them they are humbled in two ways. First, they recognize that this person did not respond in such a way to get even but instead with love and understanding. Second, they realize that the other person has thrown off all stereotypes. This extension of grace can make a person realize that what society tells them they have to be or what they have to does not have to be the case. "The only way to break the chain of violent reaction is to practice nonviolence," and I propose that extending forgiveness is that nonviolent solution. Once you have received grace and been forgiven, how can you withhold that grace from someone else, and seeing as how I have been forgiven by my perfect heavenly father who's forgiveness I did not deserve, how can I withhold that forgivenss from anyone?

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Ephesians 1:7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.

Rejoice

Psalm 118:24
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

I was asked to read a few articles on the Patriot Act and then give list of liberties I would be willing to give up in order to feel secure from the threat of terrorism. Well, that’s a tough one. I feel like liberties are a privilege, but so is protection. I don’t feel like either is a right and therefore it is hard for me to decide what I would be willing to give up in order to feel safe and secure. We as citizens also have the right to the pursuit of happiness as long as it doesn’t negatively affect those around us, and I for one would not want to not be able to do what I enjoy and live my life because of some rule that the government had put over me for my protection, nor would I want to always live in fear. I feel there is a fine line that the government has to be careful to not cross: yes, we want to keep our citizens safe, but then is being so involved in every detail of citizen’s lives so much so that they feel as if they have no personal privacy really safe. Since I have nothing to hide, I don’t have a problem with them listening to my phone calls or security checks but I do want to live my life and not have someone constantly in my business. So I think that if they have probable cause and don’t abuse this power I then it can be useful. I don’t have a problem giving them information, but I personally would rather live with more freedoms, less invasiveness, and the small possibility that another 9-11 might take place then not enjoy living my life because of rules, regulations, and fear. Many people need to look at reality. Some people are afraid to fly because they are afraid of crashing or maybe even another 9-11 attack, however they dismiss the fact that they get behind the wheel of a car everyday and more people are known to have died in car wrecks every year. I could die today by playing soccer and lightning striking the field, I could die today by sitting in front of a TV and having a heart attack, or even die today when a robber breaks into my house and shoots me. But just because these are possibilities I don’t stop doing things I enjoy like playing soccer, watching TV or living in my house. I enjoy living life and think that Americans as a whole should still do the same.

Is Death The Right Penalty?

I was asked to read an article by H. L. Mencken “The Penalty of Death.” In this article he discusses two arguments against it and flaws in their thinking. He then goes on to state his reasons for supporting the death penalty and how it is a payment that sets everything right. However he does not see how if the death penalty is payment for the crime why is it not carried out right after the court decision is decided. “Why torture them as not even cannibals would torture their victims?” He says the common answer he received was that it gives them a chance to “make peace with God.” However he still does not see how that should postpone the death penalty. He believes that is putting constraints on God, and he even points out that at least Christians believe that their God has already forgiven them, and you simply have to accept which only take seconds, minutes, or hours rather than days, months, or years.

I don’t agree, with Mencken that is. I do agree that yes God can forgive in a split second, and he already has, but God has given each and every one of us a second chance at life. We have all in one way or another sinned against God, and He has forgiven us by sending His Son Jesus to die and pay the price for all of our sins. I used to believe in the death penalty because I heard that Jesus says “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” Yes, Jesus does say that in Matthew 5:38, however, I have come to find out that this is taken extremely out of context. The full passage in Matthew 5:38-42 is as follows:
“You have heard it said, ‘an eye for an eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go with him one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”
Does that sound to you like Jesus believes in the death penalty? I think not. The government still has a responsibility to hold people accountable in order to keep order in society, and life in prison does that. It takes away their life and their freedoms like was done with their victim, settling the score while still abiding by Jesus’ example of giving grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

Unity

First I would like to preface this with 1 Corinthians 8:2-3 which says "the man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know, but the man who loves God is known by God." This to say I do not know all the answers, but am simply a average person seeking answers.

1 Corinthians 12
1Now about spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant. 2You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. 3Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit. 4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. 7Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines. 12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body. 21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. 29Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? 31But eagerly desire the greater gifts. And now I will show you the most excellent way.

While reading verses 1, 4-7 it discusses how he doesn't want us to be ignorant and how the manifestation of the spirit is for the common good. Then it seems to shift gears again in verse 8-10 "to one the message of wisdom, to ANOTHER knowledge, to ANOTHER faith, to ANOTHER healing, to ANOTHER miracles, to ANOTHER prophecy, to ANOTHER tongues, to ANOTHER interpretation..." People tend to draw toward those they are similar to, and I feel like this is where some of the division in denominations come in. However the other bookend to that is verse 11 "ALL these are the work of one and the same Spirit and he gives them to each one, just as he determines," and God is beginning to move in Wilmington as we are beginning to cross denominational boundaries. WE ARE SEEING GOD MOVE BECAUSE WE ARE COMING TOGETHER AS A WHOLE BODY!!!

The best part is the greater gifts continued on in Chapter 13:13 "and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love, AND THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE."

So as different Christians begin to come together and love one another, we will begin to see God move. Praise be to God!

Connecting the Dots

So this last week God has been showing me pieces. Today I will try and put them together the best I can, but He is still just revealing them to me one step at a time. A little over a week ago I wrote about my complacency, but how “I am ready to see God heal, I am ready to see God save, I am ready to see God move like we have never seen before.” The next few posts changed pace as I talked about Drinking and Silence, and I began to wonder who I am in Christ and if people knew me that way.

I am a Christian, one who God is revealing his plan and purpose for my life one step at time. For as long as I can remember I have had the desire to be a nurse. Whether helping stitch up a car crash victim, helping a little boy with a broken arm, or being there for the family of a dying cancer patient. Well, God is affirming that in my life. A couple months ago, Monica asked me to pray for her grandfather, Wallie, so I did. He is still alive. Then we recently prayed for Kristina’s friend’s mom with cancer, and she is still alive. Even closer to home is my friend Liz’s sister, Emily. She is 14 and diagnosed with William’s disease. This disease is hereditary and the onset is so sudden that she was bumped to the top of the transplant list at Duke because without this liver she would only live about three days. Friends and family came together praying for her, and suddenly news came that they had a liver. My heart sank. Suddenly the nurse in me realized that by asking God to save our friend we had asked him to give us a liver, meaning to take someone else’s life. How could I do that? While I struggled with this realization I went to visit my friends, Bekah and Loral. Ironically, I was already going to see them about some questions I had about healing when I got the phone call about Emily. When we got there we started talking, and I shared with them my struggles. They said they would pray for me, and then proceeded to do so. This was a change. So many Christians say they will pray for you, but how many of them, including myself, take the time to lay hands on you right then and pray for you. While they prayed, thought after thought ran through my head: Wallie, Kristina’s friend, our friend Peter who was going to California to be prayed over for healing, and EMILY. Why couldn’t I pray believing God would heal? I as thought about it, Bekah prayed it, asking God to use my hands to heal, not only physically as a nurse, but emotionally and spiritually. I have asked God to take me outside my comfort zone, and He definitely has. As Christians, we are part of the body of Christ: we are his hands and his feet.

God bring people into my life, help me be an encouragement to them, and not be afraid to share the hope of the Gospel that I have heard. Colossians 1:21-23

One Step At A Time

You know where I'm going, You know where I've been. It is not my job to see the whole picture just to take life one step at a time.

Silence

Yesterday I walked across the hall and told Monica that I wrote about her in my blog. One thing led to another and we had one of the best nights of my life. It started when Monica left the room, and her roommate Kelly and I started talking. Monica has a funny story about a guy that looks like a guy I thought was cute. Now every time I see ‘cute boy,’ who is in a couple of my classes, I think of the other boy and well, I’m no longer interested. However, Kelly said she didn’t see the resemblance so we decided that she could have the cute guy. We then began to contemplate how the match making could take place. When Monica came back we were in full on creeper mode, so she joined in. I told them about this other guy, and we creeped even more profiles. Suddenly I noticed something…these two in particular were Christians. Not just listing themselves as Christians in their religious views section but covering their facebooks with phrases like “god is good, the good book, he lives in me, praise and worship team,” and various other comments leading one to believe they were not ashamed of the God they serve. I re-evaluated my life. I blog about what God is doing in my life, I even post Bible verses and songs about what God is doing to my facebook, but do people who don’t know me know me. Monica and Kelly know me, and as many people will tell you, it’s not long after you meet me that my Savior comes into the conversation. However, do people who don’t know me, know where I stand?

The flowers of the field
Are cry'n to be heard
The trees of the forest
Are singing
And all of the mountains
With one voice
Are joining the chorus of this world
And I will not be silent
I will not be quiet anymore

Drinking

I am a fun-loving person. I always look on the bright side and try to be encouraging. People know me as being crazy and spontaneous, so why would I need to drink? I enjoy living life and making the most of every moment I’m given, so why would I want to forget some of them? I am a Christian and therefore agree with the Bible’s “do not be drunk on wine” (Ephesians 5:18), but I am not completely against social drinking. However, being a Christian, I must also “obey my leaders and submit to their authority” (Hebrews 13:17), and seeing how our government says that no one under the age of 21 can legally consume alcohol, I refrain. I have never imposed my personal beliefs on my friends and therefore often became the DD. Recently I had a discussion with my friend Kristina and have re-evaluated my stance. Although I was not drinking, I was condoning their behavior by driving them. I said and still believe that going to that party and not drinking did impact some of my friends, but could God not also influence them if I refrained from going altogether. My friends still love me. I can still have meaningful conversations, even about God, and not compromise my values. One of my friends even introduces me as her “Christian friend with whom she always has in depth discussions.” Monica is an atheist, and I love her along with our in depth discussions, but what I love more is how she knows me. Matthew 12:33 states that “a tree is known by its fruit,” and I thank God that I am known by mine.

May I continue to decrease and Christ increase in me. – John 3:30

Complacentcy

Last night, I went to my friend’s house for a bridal party. She’s not getting married but is instead planning one of the biggest wedding events in Wilmington’s history. While we were there all hanging out, girls began to share about what God was doing in their lives. It was great to hear. I knew all of these girls, but had not really ever heard any of them share what God was doing. It was awesome, so much so that I just soaked it all in. Megan was struggling with anxiety and worry; since I had recently been struggling with some similar stuff, I prayed for her and gave her some of the verses that I have previously blogged about. Then Carly started talking about fasting and how God was teaching her so much. She continued saying how much of a blessing it had been in her life. God had shown her how she needs to move to be moved, and so she was: rearranging her day, reprioritizing her life, and even giving up food. As I heard her speak, I remembered my times like that with God, and began to long for them again. Then God reminded me I was the one who grew complacent, I was the one who changed, he still has plenty to offer. A few hours went by and some of the girls had to leave. The remaining four continued to fellowship and wrap announcements when suddenly one girl received a text about her friend’s mom. It basically said that her mom has had cancer and the doctors say tonight is the night. We started to pray. While the three of them prayed my mind kept going back to the passage in Matthew about fasting, I knew healing came after fasting. I grabbed the bible and began to look. Matthew 8 and 9. The common theme is these stories, as also seen in Luke 8:40-56, is that healing comes by faith. Last night I decided that I am ready to see God heal, I am ready to see God save, I am ready to see God move like we have never seen before. Are you ready?

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
--Chris Tomlin

Shame

So have you ever told a joke that no one thought was funny, made an inappropriate comment or just straight up put your foot in your mouth? Well, I think I’m the pro, this week especially. This week I sent a text to the wrong person. The text was about one of my guy friends, meant to go to one of my girl friends and well, want to guess who I sent it to? Yep. Guy friend himself. Talk about awkward. Basically my girl friend had been teasing me about how this guy liked me. I kind of liked him, but was trying to deny it. In the text I listed off four things he had done that night and that he had done them to both of us so it was no big deal, and I didn’t think he liked me. HA! AWKAWARD! Well today at church I was struggling with still being embarrassed, when suddenly I listened to the words of the song:

I’m trading my sorrow,
I’m trading my shame,
I’m laying them down for the joy of the Lord.
I’m trading my sickness,
I’m trading my pain,
I’m laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

That is what I’m going to do. I am going to lay it down, not worry with it anymore and move on. So what if I made a fool of myself. Nothing new. Plus, it’s over and done; nothing I can do about it now. I just have to lay it down and let God do with it what he may. Ha. Plus you have to love making God laugh with our stupidity :)

Just Be You

So lately I have decided I am just going to wait on my guy, the guy who loves me for me. That’s not too much to ask so when I was given an essay to write about in class, guys came to mind. Recently my friend shared with me the song “Gimmie That Girl” by Joe Nichols. I long for the day that a guy tells me:

Gimmie the girl that’s beautiful,
without a trace of makeup of on,
barefoot in the kitchen,
singing her favorite song.
Dancing around like a fool,
starring in her own little show,
gimmie the girl the rest of the world,
ain't lucky enough to know.

Gimmie that girl with the hair in a mess
sleepy little smile with her head on my chest,
that’s the you that I like best,
gimmie that girl.
Gimmie that girl lovin up on me,
old t-shirt and a pair of jeans,
thats the you I wanna see,
gimmie that girl, gimmie that girl.

Once I heard that, I knew I wanted to include it in my paper. The message being that someday some guy will love me for me, inside and out, even if I’m not Ms Glamour. The more I thought I realized I needed another form of media saying the same thing. GOOD LUCK! But then I remembered the movie Sweet Home Alabama. Jake falls for Melanie when they were two youngsters in a small town with next-to-nothing, but Melanie decides she wants something more. She moves to NYC, becomes a designer, and becomes engaged to a Senator’s son. When she goes back to Alabama to legalize her divorce, Jake hates the new Melanie. He feels her trendy hair, constant make-up, and ‘better than everyone else’ attitude takes away from who she really is, and he doesn’t understand why she would want to change for other people when he loved her for her.

Why should I try to be somebody else, when someday someone will love me for me?

Quiet My Soul

Bring Me to the Cross -- Hillsong United

Savior I come
Quiet my soul, remember
Redemption's hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and tried
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

God please continue to remind me of all you have done for me. Continue to bring me to my knees.

Distractions

I dont like him anymore! Friends yes, more than that no. He's a great guy, but not my great guy, not now. God has really been asking me to put my money where my mouth is in that I always say that I want God to be my everything, but I always want God and boys, God and friends, etc. It really has been convicting and even lonely at times as I have learned to find my everything in my Savior. He is the husband who will never fail, he is not like grass that withers and fades but he is the LORD, who is like him? I have now decided God knows better than I who I need and now it is up to him to show me that person when the time is right. No more looking at guys like..."hum, maybe him?” but instead “how is that brothers walk with God?" It really has been an incredible lesson to learn. And the song Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a hymn written by Robert Robinson, describes exactly how I feel. The entire song is incredible, but one verse in particular describes my relationship with my Savior…

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

God make this my constant prayer. Challenge me. Convict me. Change me. May you increase as I decrease.

Superstition

Black cats, cracks in a sidewalk, saying the same thing as a friend, or just a strange wind. For some it’s out of habit while others truly believe in coincidence and chance. It is almost second nature to say “aren’t you lucky” when a friend gets a better grade on a test than we think they deserve. Even after my car accident a couple months ago, “Luckily it wasn’t bad, luckily no one was hurt, and I was lucky I got a new car that is rather nice,” were the phrases that came out of my mouth without hesitation. I even named my car Lucky. But we all need opportunities to learn and grow; mine was a conversation with my dad. He reminded me that being a Christian, I don’t believe in luck and chance; I believe in a God who created, loved, and constantly gives us GRACE, ironically my topic yesterday. Now my car’s name is Grace because it was by the grace of God that no one was hurt, it was by the grace of God that I got a new car, and it was by the grace of God it is as nice as it is. So while some choose to live with a belief in superstition, luck and chance, I choose to put my belief is a God and his grace as I go about my everyday life.

Ephesians 2:7-9 In order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Oh and by the way. The grace he has given me this week has been incredible. Theatre test = 100. Psych test = 94!!!

Grace

The last couple of days have been the most stressful and the most freeing of my life. I suffered from a bad case of food poisoning this weekend, and should have just taken a couple of days to recover, but I did not have the time. I had 3 test, none of which I was prepared for. However, my body won out, and I slept for a good majority of the weekend in order to recover. When I woke up Sunday I was ready to go. I studied Psychology, reviewed Biology, and then ran to my friend's house to study Theatre. Then I had to work, more time I didn’t have, but I fulfilled my obligation. I came home and went to bed, waking up reviewing then off to class, all day, no time to study for my theatre test at 630. But through my constant stressful day, one mishap to another, I had a peace like I’ve never known. Like someone was telling me that ever thing would be ok. I just kept being reminded how great my God is and that nothing is too great for him. I continued to claim that God would be my strength as I had read in Psalm 18, and he was. The hours and minutes have never passed so slowly as when I got back from class and started studying. I found the notes for everything on the review sheet and went through it all twice. Peace swept over me again as I walked into the room and took the test. Not bad, one test down. Now time to come back study Psych and relax while watching the Bachelor. It was a needed break, and quite enjoyable. Afterward I realized I still didn’t have the scantron needed for the test! 10 o’clock what will I do? I ran across the hall and Liz just happened to have one. Grace again, I experienced God’s grace through Liz and her generosity. I then decided to head to bed and wake up early and study. I grabbed my Bible and jumped up on my bed. Megan, my roommate, was studying Psych, which I still did not know well enough, but I kept my focus on my great God who spared me from my stressful day. I reread Psalm 18, while I was doing that Megan asked me Psych questions to help her understand which only helped me review. Suddenly my page turned to Psalm 25, then again to Psalm 22. The more I focused on God and gave him the glory for my day, the more He bestowed his grace on me with more questions from Megan. Finally I turned to Matthew 6:33-34 and to both of us God spoke: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. With that we went to bed.

Praise be to God who tells us to cast all our cares upon him because he cares for us 1 Peter 5:6-7

Health: Mind, Body, and Soul

Everyone makes New Year’s resolution and mine was to weigh 125 by my birthday, April 28. I started off well, waking up early, working out every day, and eating healthier, but then I got sick. A sinus infection, bronchitis and pneumonia did not make working out worth my time, so I took a break. However by taking this break I got out of the habit of going and am now in the processing of figuring out a good time to hit the gym. With 19 hours this semester, this task seems almost impossible, but I will figure it out because it is important to me to get in shape. Also in PE we have to keep a behavioral journal. I have decided to evaluate and change my habit of mindless eating. Whether watching TV, studying or just being bored I have noticed that I eat when I have nothing to do. This is not a good habit if I’m trying to lose weight, so I’m going to stop. Last night was hard, but I decided that instead of doing homework at my desk, I would work on my bed. This took away my easy access to the food and helped me focus on my studies. I love eating healthier, and cannot wait to start enjoying my healthier lifestyle of eating moderate proportion, working out more, balancing my social life, and keeping up with my studies.

1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Relax

So this Saturday I went with my friend Cameron to take a photo shoot. We both love photography and are always the ones taking pictures so we decided it would be nice for once to get our pictures taken. We grabbed a camera and put our creative minds to work. It was awkward at first since we are never the subject of the photos but eventually we just cut loose and had fun. Goofing around on railroad tracks, in the woods, and just odd spots around the house proved very beneficially to our artwork, and allowed us to get to know each other better as friends. Our friend Margaret joined us when we went to the tracks, and helped inspire our now fading inspiration. After hours of photographs and full memory cards the sunlight began to fade and we called it a day. Back at the house, I cracked my Psychology book and began to do homework. WAIT! I HAVE AN ESSAY DUE IN ENGLISH THAT I WAS SUPPOSE TO OBSERVE FOR! The plan had been for all of us to go Contradancing, but I didn’t have time. I had to go spend time observing Starbucks. So I told them while they went and enjoyed a night of dancing I would have to sit it out and stop for coffee. I never would have predicted my findings. I walked in with my laptop and just began to observe. Couples, friends, co-workers all shared one common theme…exhaustion. I guess I’m not the only one who had a long week and needed a cup of coffee. As I sat and enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere, I began to notice how tired people really were. People only half listened to their friends, stared off into space, and struggled making decisions about the rest of the nights plans. Decisions and actions that required energy, something no one had. One kid put it perfectly in his call to his mom “Mayfair is dead right now.” I guess the long week had caught up with everyone, and we all just need time to relax.

Genesis 2:2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.

Come on people, God lead by example. REST! Lets stop running ourselves ragged and just enjoy living life instead of always rushing and wishing our lives away.

Entertainment

Today in class we talked about Free-writing. I thought it might be cool if I started doing that for my blog. Ha. Yeah so that was a joke. I decided no one needed an unfiltered me, plenty of my friends suffered through that for months when I broke my arm in March and was on Vicodin and Percocet. That story is for another day I’m sure. Either way, just not a good idea for public viewing, however it is a good idea for coming up with topics to write about or ideas for an outline to an essay. One like I am supposed to write next week. Description. Shouldn’t be too hard right? But then what is a description, a good description? It’s when a writer makes you feel as if you’re actually there: seeing, tasting, smelling, hearing, feeling the environment. Well today after class I went with a friend to grab some coffee at a local coffee shop, Port City Java. We noticed these two guys just sitting in their car. I made a comment about how maybe they were people watching like we both liked to do, and how it would be funny if that’s what I did. However, I would like to keep my dignity. Ok, so for some of you who know me, that statement was ironically funny knowing that I don’t have a problem taking a Spruce Terrain jump at Snowshoe and breaking my arm or wearing Depends over a onezy at a tacky Christmas party. Although the more I think about it, it does sound original and entertaining, but I’m not too sure how profitable it would be for this assignment. So despite the entertainment value in the Harris Teeter parking lot I decided I love coffee, and I love to people watch so why not take my wonderful laptop to a coffee shop and record what I see, then convert that into an essay. One that should hopefully let you know what happens in Starbucks on Saturday.

Although I will not post my essay, I will let you know what I learn from this wonderful activity. Lesson 1. People are entertaining. Don't you wonder what God thinks when we do some of the stupid things we do? I know I wonder about some of the intelligent human beings running around this planet. Ha. I'm one of them. Through how many people did God tell me I was going to break my arm the morning I strapped on my snowboard and headed down the mountain? Over five. What is God trying to tell you? Are you listening?

Proverbs 19:20-21 Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Why I'm Writting

When I first heard that we were going to have to be blogging for my English homework I was like, "Really?" But the more I thought about it and the more I learned what a blog really was, I decided, "Why not?" I am someone who looks at everything and tries to learn something from it so that is how I'm going to approach this class as well. I will read articles and respond or sometimes just write about what I'm learning in my own life in my journey to “A BETTER ME.”

We were supposed to research two articles to find out more about what a blog actually was. Well I was on facebook with my friend and she told me she had one so I read hers. Now my job is to evaluate it. Well...I love Katie. She challenges me more than she knows. We go to church together, and reading her blog was so encouraging. She is very open about her relationship with Christ as well as struggles she faces, causing me to question my vulnerability with people. Do I constantly put on a front and act like I always have it together or do I let people know that I’m human: I don’t always have joy and laughter but instead sometimes possess hurt and pain, stress and loneliness? Katie showed me it is okay to write about those times too. My friend Stephie is very similar. She also writes about whatever she is going through that day. If it’s just a picture to describe a mood, song lyrics to describe a feeling, or a list of things to vent about, she’s real about what she's going through. She’s a girl just like me who is trying to grow in her walk with God and encourage her friends and followers to do the same.

Psalm 51:10-12 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your prescence or take your Holy Spirit from me, Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.