Complacentcy

Last night, I went to my friend’s house for a bridal party. She’s not getting married but is instead planning one of the biggest wedding events in Wilmington’s history. While we were there all hanging out, girls began to share about what God was doing in their lives. It was great to hear. I knew all of these girls, but had not really ever heard any of them share what God was doing. It was awesome, so much so that I just soaked it all in. Megan was struggling with anxiety and worry; since I had recently been struggling with some similar stuff, I prayed for her and gave her some of the verses that I have previously blogged about. Then Carly started talking about fasting and how God was teaching her so much. She continued saying how much of a blessing it had been in her life. God had shown her how she needs to move to be moved, and so she was: rearranging her day, reprioritizing her life, and even giving up food. As I heard her speak, I remembered my times like that with God, and began to long for them again. Then God reminded me I was the one who grew complacent, I was the one who changed, he still has plenty to offer. A few hours went by and some of the girls had to leave. The remaining four continued to fellowship and wrap announcements when suddenly one girl received a text about her friend’s mom. It basically said that her mom has had cancer and the doctors say tonight is the night. We started to pray. While the three of them prayed my mind kept going back to the passage in Matthew about fasting, I knew healing came after fasting. I grabbed the bible and began to look. Matthew 8 and 9. The common theme is these stories, as also seen in Luke 8:40-56, is that healing comes by faith. Last night I decided that I am ready to see God heal, I am ready to see God save, I am ready to see God move like we have never seen before. Are you ready?

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
--Chris Tomlin

Shame

So have you ever told a joke that no one thought was funny, made an inappropriate comment or just straight up put your foot in your mouth? Well, I think I’m the pro, this week especially. This week I sent a text to the wrong person. The text was about one of my guy friends, meant to go to one of my girl friends and well, want to guess who I sent it to? Yep. Guy friend himself. Talk about awkward. Basically my girl friend had been teasing me about how this guy liked me. I kind of liked him, but was trying to deny it. In the text I listed off four things he had done that night and that he had done them to both of us so it was no big deal, and I didn’t think he liked me. HA! AWKAWARD! Well today at church I was struggling with still being embarrassed, when suddenly I listened to the words of the song:

I’m trading my sorrow,
I’m trading my shame,
I’m laying them down for the joy of the Lord.
I’m trading my sickness,
I’m trading my pain,
I’m laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

That is what I’m going to do. I am going to lay it down, not worry with it anymore and move on. So what if I made a fool of myself. Nothing new. Plus, it’s over and done; nothing I can do about it now. I just have to lay it down and let God do with it what he may. Ha. Plus you have to love making God laugh with our stupidity :)

Just Be You

So lately I have decided I am just going to wait on my guy, the guy who loves me for me. That’s not too much to ask so when I was given an essay to write about in class, guys came to mind. Recently my friend shared with me the song “Gimmie That Girl” by Joe Nichols. I long for the day that a guy tells me:

Gimmie the girl that’s beautiful,
without a trace of makeup of on,
barefoot in the kitchen,
singing her favorite song.
Dancing around like a fool,
starring in her own little show,
gimmie the girl the rest of the world,
ain't lucky enough to know.

Gimmie that girl with the hair in a mess
sleepy little smile with her head on my chest,
that’s the you that I like best,
gimmie that girl.
Gimmie that girl lovin up on me,
old t-shirt and a pair of jeans,
thats the you I wanna see,
gimmie that girl, gimmie that girl.

Once I heard that, I knew I wanted to include it in my paper. The message being that someday some guy will love me for me, inside and out, even if I’m not Ms Glamour. The more I thought I realized I needed another form of media saying the same thing. GOOD LUCK! But then I remembered the movie Sweet Home Alabama. Jake falls for Melanie when they were two youngsters in a small town with next-to-nothing, but Melanie decides she wants something more. She moves to NYC, becomes a designer, and becomes engaged to a Senator’s son. When she goes back to Alabama to legalize her divorce, Jake hates the new Melanie. He feels her trendy hair, constant make-up, and ‘better than everyone else’ attitude takes away from who she really is, and he doesn’t understand why she would want to change for other people when he loved her for her.

Why should I try to be somebody else, when someday someone will love me for me?

Quiet My Soul

Bring Me to the Cross -- Hillsong United

Savior I come
Quiet my soul, remember
Redemption's hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and tried
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

God please continue to remind me of all you have done for me. Continue to bring me to my knees.

Distractions

I dont like him anymore! Friends yes, more than that no. He's a great guy, but not my great guy, not now. God has really been asking me to put my money where my mouth is in that I always say that I want God to be my everything, but I always want God and boys, God and friends, etc. It really has been convicting and even lonely at times as I have learned to find my everything in my Savior. He is the husband who will never fail, he is not like grass that withers and fades but he is the LORD, who is like him? I have now decided God knows better than I who I need and now it is up to him to show me that person when the time is right. No more looking at guys like..."hum, maybe him?” but instead “how is that brothers walk with God?" It really has been an incredible lesson to learn. And the song Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a hymn written by Robert Robinson, describes exactly how I feel. The entire song is incredible, but one verse in particular describes my relationship with my Savior…

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

God make this my constant prayer. Challenge me. Convict me. Change me. May you increase as I decrease.

Superstition

Black cats, cracks in a sidewalk, saying the same thing as a friend, or just a strange wind. For some it’s out of habit while others truly believe in coincidence and chance. It is almost second nature to say “aren’t you lucky” when a friend gets a better grade on a test than we think they deserve. Even after my car accident a couple months ago, “Luckily it wasn’t bad, luckily no one was hurt, and I was lucky I got a new car that is rather nice,” were the phrases that came out of my mouth without hesitation. I even named my car Lucky. But we all need opportunities to learn and grow; mine was a conversation with my dad. He reminded me that being a Christian, I don’t believe in luck and chance; I believe in a God who created, loved, and constantly gives us GRACE, ironically my topic yesterday. Now my car’s name is Grace because it was by the grace of God that no one was hurt, it was by the grace of God that I got a new car, and it was by the grace of God it is as nice as it is. So while some choose to live with a belief in superstition, luck and chance, I choose to put my belief is a God and his grace as I go about my everyday life.

Ephesians 2:7-9 In order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Oh and by the way. The grace he has given me this week has been incredible. Theatre test = 100. Psych test = 94!!!

Grace

The last couple of days have been the most stressful and the most freeing of my life. I suffered from a bad case of food poisoning this weekend, and should have just taken a couple of days to recover, but I did not have the time. I had 3 test, none of which I was prepared for. However, my body won out, and I slept for a good majority of the weekend in order to recover. When I woke up Sunday I was ready to go. I studied Psychology, reviewed Biology, and then ran to my friend's house to study Theatre. Then I had to work, more time I didn’t have, but I fulfilled my obligation. I came home and went to bed, waking up reviewing then off to class, all day, no time to study for my theatre test at 630. But through my constant stressful day, one mishap to another, I had a peace like I’ve never known. Like someone was telling me that ever thing would be ok. I just kept being reminded how great my God is and that nothing is too great for him. I continued to claim that God would be my strength as I had read in Psalm 18, and he was. The hours and minutes have never passed so slowly as when I got back from class and started studying. I found the notes for everything on the review sheet and went through it all twice. Peace swept over me again as I walked into the room and took the test. Not bad, one test down. Now time to come back study Psych and relax while watching the Bachelor. It was a needed break, and quite enjoyable. Afterward I realized I still didn’t have the scantron needed for the test! 10 o’clock what will I do? I ran across the hall and Liz just happened to have one. Grace again, I experienced God’s grace through Liz and her generosity. I then decided to head to bed and wake up early and study. I grabbed my Bible and jumped up on my bed. Megan, my roommate, was studying Psych, which I still did not know well enough, but I kept my focus on my great God who spared me from my stressful day. I reread Psalm 18, while I was doing that Megan asked me Psych questions to help her understand which only helped me review. Suddenly my page turned to Psalm 25, then again to Psalm 22. The more I focused on God and gave him the glory for my day, the more He bestowed his grace on me with more questions from Megan. Finally I turned to Matthew 6:33-34 and to both of us God spoke: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. With that we went to bed.

Praise be to God who tells us to cast all our cares upon him because he cares for us 1 Peter 5:6-7